Design and documentation journal for my interactive fiction (text games); also reviews and other miscellaneous stuff.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

IF Comp 09: The Hangover

So same spiel as last time: here be spoilers, and there's no cut, because Blogger is evil and I am more interested in playing IF now than foiling the evil that is Blogger.

Right now I'm mostly posting comments as I go, and I'll write up more formal reviews of the ones I think deserve them.

So, unless you want spoilers for Hangover, which is "the story of you," you better get going. I mean, you wouldn't want to spoil yourself about you now, would you?

------------------------- Fake Cut! -----------------------------------------
Start : 8:57 PM

I was semi-interested in this first intro sentence. I mean, the story of me! Sweet! Except "You awake in your apartment with an unknown women and your bank informing you that you changed your name last night."

I've never woken to a bank in my apartment before, nor have I ever had an account with a bank open past 4:45, so this seems a little implausible. And I can't imagine the contortions I'd have to go through to change a name on my account. Or maybe I filed a change of name form with the government last night. It's unclear. Guess I better play the game and find out!

The game provides no intro text - it literally dumps you in, and smugly tells you pushing enter (to get to something that isn't a title) doesn't work. I'm chalking this up to ADRIFT, which I haven't used before. Dear ADRIFT: You suck.

First paragraph has rampant punctuation, spelling, and grammar issues ("your west"? Really, game?). This is the second game that has had issues with basic English competence in the first few lines. It's hard for me to believe that a game is bug-free if it doesn't look like anyone has bothered to read over the descriptions once or twice. (Okay, not everyone catches comma splices and its/it's errors. But "ill-loking bed" makes no sense.)

My robe is "so wretched George Carlin would faint." I know George only from his youtube video about the words you can't say. Did he have a bit about bathrobes?

Examining the bed brings up the delightful sentence "I'm pitty you for the sole fact that you actually sleep there." This makes me strongly suspect Red Conine is an ESL speaker, which makes me feel bad for being so mean about the language issues. Then not so bad, because if you wrote something in a foreign language, wouldn't you run it by a native speaker or two before releasing it? Regardless, I promise I won't poke fun too much at the English errors unless they're very very funny. Or I get really angry.

Your bathrobe is in the room description, even after you pick it up and put it on. Sigh.

I would like to say on behalf of poor housekeepers everywhere: I take excellent care of my teeth, thank you very much.

Uh - "women" doesn't seem to be a typo - everywhere that the one, single, mysterious woman is mentioned, she's "a women". And sometimes capitalized. I kind of like the idea you might have the Aristotelian ideal of Woman in your apartment. That would be cool. Unfortunately, this game seems creepy and borderline misogynistic, so I'm guessing that's not what's happening here.

The game is actively mocking player-me for having green plastic chairs. As much as my character is apparently a lush and a creep, I feel the need to say "Hey!" This is how much the game is actively pissing me off. I mean, who decided I had three 1980's green chairs anyway? And now it's mocking me? (Also, I'll have you know that retro is *very* in right now and I, personally, would like very much to have three cool green retro chairs in my apartment.)

The bank's grammar is awful. Also, apparently after the government changed my name last night, showing amazing speed for a beauracratic organization, the bank instantly was notified, and the post office must have been working overtime, because there's a letter on my doorstep the morning after I changed my name. I find it hard to believe that the same group that took six months to issue me a passport processed a name change overnight.

Okay, I'm done. I went out to the street and into a burger joint, where a "women" name "Deby" has no respect for "you, the customer." Considering this game appears to have no respect for me, the player, this is the straw that ends this session.

Finish: 9:47 PM - we're clicking right along, aren't we?
Score: Right now, 1.

Note - I'm saving my transcripts for these games. I'm often interested in how players go about stuff, and I wish more people updated this sort of mundane stuff. I'll probably load them in a batch at the end.

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